If there ever is a Gilmore Girls movie, it has to include a Christmas. Picture Lorelai and Rory (and two boyfriends of your choice) warming their toes in front of an open fire, cracking wise about Rudolf and roasting chestnuts and waxing anecdotal about their Christmases we never saw. Taylor and Kirk pass by as carollers, arguing the factual correctness of Little Donkey. A sick Santa emergency requires someone to step in and save the day… it’d be great.
Still. In seven years of Gilmore Girls, we never saw an actual Christmas Day, but there were a couple of near misses, from which we may divine some precious Gilmore tips on how to handle Christmas. After all, Christmas is largely about family and Gilmore Girls was about little else.
In year one, we saw Stars Hollow a couple of weeks before the big day and in year seven, Lorelai postpones Christmas until Rory’s return from London. Class is in session, pay attention at the back.
Don’t waste energy on picky people
Lorelai: And I got cologne for Michel and the same cologne for my mother.
Lorelai: Well, they’ll both hate whatever I give them so I figured, why spend time picking out doomed gifts?
s07e11 Santa’s Secret Stuff
Look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you
Lane: Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Lane: OK to me that said, ‘Hey mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy’. Now to my mother, it said ‘Hey mom, here’s some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with’ and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
s01e10 Forgiveness and Stuff
Avoid family arguments by not inviting them
Emily: I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life and I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated my the other day was in any way acceptable.
Lorelai: So you’re uninviting me to Christmas dinner?
(Note: beware of karma. During the meal, Richard faints and ends up in hospital. Probably one too many apple tarts.)
Luke: Hey, how’s your dad?
Lorelai: Better, though he says that life is not life unless it includes a steak.
Rory: The coffee machine was jammed so I got us some chicken soup and some Pez.
Make your own traditions
Six trees are better than one (for a buck a piece) and mistletoe should be taped to a ceiling fan blade.
Rory: That way, the kissing is more like a sport.
My top Christmas tradition is watching A Muppet Family Christmas, made before the magnificent Jim Henson passed away; properly anarchic and original yet touching. How about you? Any Christmas Gilmore traditions?
Hey State-side, is Candy Cane coffee a real thing? And oh while I remember, does anyone have a good eggnog recipe? I tried it one year and ended up with bits of omelette floating in hot milk. Gross.
Though it’s been said many times, many ways – Merry Christmas to you, my extended Gilmore kin, wherever in the world you are. Keep your toes warm and Be Good. See you next year x
Pic c/o The WB