In The Gilmore Girls Companion, when talking about the episode ‘Rory’s Dance,’ there is a segment highlighting Emily’s speech to Lorelai warning her that she’s going to lose Rory. Lorelai says she has raised Rory differently, without suffocating her like Emily did to her. Given how controlling we are led to believe that Emily was in Lorelai’s life – decorating her room, choosing her schools, primping her clothes and opportunities – how is it that we don’t see Lane turn out more like Lorelai?

When you think of it, Lane is in a similar situation of control. However, she finds, as this interview shows, alternate ways of coping. She rebels in less destructive ways.

So, what is it about Emily & Mrs. Kim that makes their “control” different? I know each girl – Lane vs Lorelai – has different ways of coping, but perhaps their reactions were in part dictated by their relationships with their mothers. Did Lane have a better relationship with Mrs. Kim, despite her controlling nature? Why?