Pop quiz, hotshot. Does Lorelai wear glasses?
Answer: Yes, but we don’t see them often. She wears a thin-framed pair twice in season 2, then upgrades to a bolder frame in seasons 4 and 5. Did you notice that when Lorelai wears glasses, dogs are more likely than not to come up in conversation?
In season 2, Lorelai is not-so-secretly listening in on Rory’s phone conversation with Max – while he lists a choice of wedding rings. Max recognises Lorelai’s panting, yelping dog noises because he’s, like, a professor and everything:
Max: Mm hmm. Put Cujo on the phone please.
Rory: One sec… [handing the phone to Lorelai] Here boy.
s02e01 Sadie, Sadie
Cujo was a crazy scary rabid dog in a Stephen King book and an 80’s horror movie … and re-appears in season 4 when Lorelai again has her glasses, in Luke’s Diner during one of his particularly prickly moods:
Lorelai: Days. You’ve been stomping around, barking at people for days.
Luke: I have not.
Lorelai: Yes, Cujo, you have.
Luke: I always talk to people like that.
Lorelai: No, Benji, you don’t.
Luke: I’ll be fine tomorrow.
Lorelai: Really, Lassie? Why is that?
s04e05 The Fundamental Things Apply
Cujo:2, every other movie dog: 1
For the sake of completeness, behold the other two spectacular outings: From season 2’s Secrets and Loans (Luke gives Lorelai a loan, Lane forgets her pom) and season 5’s We Got Us a Pippi Virgin! (Lorelai discovers the explanation behind Richard’s spangly waistcoat, Emily acquires a panic room). Relatedly, Lane briefly appears WITHOUT glasses in the Pippi episode as she, Zack and Brian shave and brush their teeth around the kitchen sink. Co-incidence? No such thing as co-incidence, my friend.
Second pop quiz! Does Lorelai wear contact lenses?
This one’s a trick question. In the pilot episode, Lorelai appears to wear contacts:
Sookie: I can’t afford a new stove! Those things are expensive.
Lorelai: Sookie, please, I am begging you, please, pull yourself together, OK? I got no sleep last night and I think I put my contacts in backwards.
But 18 episodes later, she appears to forget:
Rachel: Do you wear contacts?
Lorelai: Me? No.
Rachel: God, you’ve got amazing eyes. (to Luke) Doesn’t she?
Luke: Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess… I mean, they’re, you know, placed good… symmetrical. I’m gonna get some more coffee.
What do you think, conspiracy theorists? Was Lorelai abducted by aliens and switched out mid-season for a clone with perfect vision? Was she temporarily befuddled by Rachel blatantly coming on to her (‘You’ve got amazing eyes’ – COME ON)? Was her ‘backwards contacts’ comment just a flippant statement for comedic value? Rumour has it, there is precedent for this.
Did she get LASIK but continue to wear glasses because they – somehow – make her even sexier? On second thoughts, she can’t have had LASIK or we’d have had this play out in reverse…
Theories welcomed below. Also, which were your favourite pair of glasses and do you think she looked better, worse or just different? What about Lane and her glasses: Better with… or without? That’s with… or without? And did you see what I did with ‘spectacular’ back there?
Pics c/o TheWB